A Final Dream

Countless nights of unrecalled dreams and turbulent sleep will end its journey invaded by a sulky silence. When all will be been consigned to a cloud of forgetting,the mind still battles down the memory lane. Untying the mortal knot, the gentle soul will breathe a contented sigh of relief and slumbers. While she sleeps, the light continues to build in a world where we live a final dream.

Random ....

Myth is my world beaded with multitude of variety. A Pandora which opens the door to my saga, a fairy tale reality. Cloud 9 moments, awkward

encounters, winsome surprises and forlorn silence. Chronic itch for perfection, yet not practiced and unscathed paths under discovery. Filled with penultimate moments for every decade I live to cherish. All is Poignant yet richly amalgamated. A sane deal of finely assorted episodes that creates this well fabricated masterpiece with an ending unwritten.

A Letter to Destiny

Dear Destiny,
I abstain myself from calling you Fate, as It makes me feel like a dead end with no hope. I fascinate your mode of tenure in my life, with such radical and casual turns before the essence of any event is savored. My burdened soul with infirmities at times seeks for some spirit stirring recollections that you created for me which could do towards a little lightening. Or even borrow the heap of joy from the future that’s waiting to help through my present grief. Even when I fade away in my own mundane life I feel the thin string holding me tight. Inveterately tough is the world I face that even a fight would sometimes make no impression and yet you made it a smooth sail. You made me meet my friends I love, foes I hope I never meet, and the love of my life, embarked each memory like an ornate detail of artistry which defies codes of art of all the worlds. I will hold my expression of gratitude until I leave my last breathe.

Sincerely
A. Jay

Hate to say this but " Good bye to all and will miss all of you !!!"

With a Blink of my eye,
I stand here empty and hollow,
Hearing the echoes of mirth,
With different faces from past three years

Merciless time truly is a master
Turns my present to past
Cascaded emotions spread the warmth
Of my tear of farewell on my skin.

Good bye Friends, Good bye Syracuse
May the future awaits and destiny bind us again

Life lingers on a thin rope

News of departure leaves a heavy heart and especially the ones leaving from this world is quite saddening. So unfair that life’s intransigence to live a minute longer is destined by this figurative dressed in Black Robe. Metaphorically we are mere paramours longing to fulfill all our furtive desires before we are expelled from the stage. While reading William Shakespeare‘s “All worlds is a stage” in my 8th grade which describes entrances and exits of players, I dint realize there are few who have short roles to play , the few who never get to experience their second childhood as in the poem. RIP to all those who left us early with loaded memoirs.

Misinterpreted relationships

I question myself why few relationships enter our lives, entwine and yet fade away without a trace. It merely leaves behind the scars of those fondled memories, a moment of pensive and mysterious dearth of where it all started and a sudden trail to its end. It’s different when standing on the brim of a relationship where things narrow down to either we take it or abandon it. The tough part begins when investing years of acknowledged dependence that aggravation and intolerance takes over. Most times I am inclined to blame myself with the brooch of being naïve to elucidate further or may be the simple things that I ignore to rant becomes the cause for this disintegration. To put an end to my reasoning on this blog, complication and misinterpretation are separated by a thin line, and resolving the first part is tumultuous but the latter is never credulous.

The Balance

A Sincere Covenant
Between the heart and the mind
Is sometimes blinded by the disparity of the soul
Savage thoughts misleads the mind
Sore collectives scars the heart
Injustice to both quarantines the soul
To Restore a Balance between all three
IS Still a misconstrue.

Wish

Picture perfect it’s in my head

All the years gone by me and am lying on my bed

Wonder if my past could little longer last.

There were Times when I have no big choices to make,

And there were times when I never live for others sake

It’s true that I know that when reality strikes

I have to let go my past to welcome my new life.



Taxi’s honking outside my door

I walk out leaving traces of my memories all behind

Sadly loneliness is my shoulder to cry on.

Strange it is the feeling that turns into healing

Tears that were rolling were to wash and start fresh

Yes it is true that I know life is full of surprises

I have to let go of my past cause its my own ride


Wish I had to never grow up

Wish things turn back and sometimes never show up

But all comes to an end and all I want to say is that

I wish for the better

My mind gravitates toward anniversaries. Five years ago today, I barely had thoughts about leaving my country for higher studies. Most times, I loved it. Today, I despise it. Nothing about life today even remotely resembles the life I was living at that point. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it isn’t.
All I had is one simple goal in mind when I walked out of my apartment door -distraction. Just to get my mind off of everything. Disappear into the world for a while. (That sounds like three goals, but I think they all fall under the same umbrella.).

Leverage

For me it has spawned a previously unrealized interest in digging some thoughts on how influencing works. Of course I agree that it is an art to sustain millions of eyes lay upon you, spellbound by your presence, like the fairy dust sprinkled to keep all mesmerized. Be it beauty or trait, pretense or articulate portrayal of Leninism. The dominance is always red carpet welcomed. On the contrary the weaker is the prey, reluctantly enticed, helplessly fraught with deceit doing injustice to themselves.Feeling momentous is what everyone wants or we ought to think that way but it is quite harrowing that some choose a life of servitude for the betterment of their own. Man made theories and philosophies on human behavior are far fetched and unreal at times but will always remain a tale of epic proportions. Since it’s a two sided coin story, I end up with no conclusion to this blog leaving it to reader’s vision

Feels like winning a battle.

As I ambled through my memory lane I skewed on tangents of each phase of my life.
From what I was ‘A bundle of joy in the hands of hope’ to what I am now’ The sovereign of my own destiny’ .The celestial feeling I reach each time when I conquer my wins and glories in a quiescence fashion is ineffable by mere words. Surmounting all hurdles that portray as a gargoyle in my every night’s dream and impeding distractions without ending up with anomalies feels like I have taken my throne in a winning battlefield.

Finding Panacea

Sometimes I feel I am Anachronous to veracity
And other times a paradox to my own findings
Is it because of immolated facts I reconsider,??/ a filched memory that is relinquished?!
Or does this occur when I am left in a chasm of turmoil?!??!

Strange Guest

The comrade who dwells in my bubble world from my existence,
Some name him “instinct” and few name in a more idiomatic fashion.
But I call him Stranger.
A Stranger for whom my imagination fails to sketch
A portrait of his existence
Though He keeps me company
The unease in his uncanny presence at times
Entices me to reciprocal misjudgments.

Ingenious variety of denial

It starts with quiet hum, an empty space inviting u,“Come inside” it says “we are always open” . Its a world you think that actions have no consequences, where guilt is quote to anonymity, where there are no finger prints.An invisible universe filled with strangers interconnected verbally and disconnected in life.It will steal your secrets and corrupt your identity because in this world where you can be anything you want, anyone you want.

You just might loose sight of who u are.

Shackles

Destiny clinches life to imponderable clutches.
From the cord in her womb to the bleak dome to eternity.
Smothered at first
Realized later
That emancipation from these shackles
Is the dawn of a cloistered putrid and a brooch for a mocking infamy.

Motherhood

So Beautiful and picturesque in her attire with an infant in her bosom. An object to remind me of divine maternity. Sacred image of sinless motherhood whose infant was to redeem the world. The taint of the deepest sin in the most sacred quality of human life. The world was only darker for this woman’s beauty. And the more lost for the infant that she had borne.

Sanctity in Sabotage

Like the crevice in a mirror
Is how our traits split
Like the ripples in lucid water
Is how our thoughts befall unhinged
Like the shriveled tree
Is how we are left in quarantine
Like the taint in a glass
Is how I can envisage
Our life’s sanctity is in sabotage.

Words of inspiration

Do you have words that inspire you? Words that demarcate what you want to be or do? Words that elevate you up and help you be the person you want to be?

I have a few...among them "Dream", "Love", "Belief"

Dream, because dreaming can lead to aspirations and realities that I otherwise wouldn't allow myself. For too long, I stopped dreaming of what I could do with my life.

Love, because I believe love hauls with us through the darkest of times and makes the best of times even better. Without Love the world would be even daunting than it can be now.

Belief, because I have to hark back myself to believe in what I can do. I don't easily believe in my own abilities occasionally, and it helps me remember that I am worth believing in.

Your turn. Post in words that that instigate you.

Five Elements of Life

While I was watching "The Avatar" couple of days ago, it got me thinking about the roles that we play in each other’s lives. I made an allusion to myself that I need my kid sis like I need air. “Who are your earth and water?” Good question. Let’s take inventory, shall we?

Air - Dolls, obviously. I can’t breathe without her. I would die without her. And yet I think I take her for granted sometimes.

Earth - Dad. The firm foundation on which I stand. The one who holds me up and keeps me from sinking.

Wind - Mom. She keeps me up and flying, takes me where I need to go, and keeps me floating when I can no longer soar.

Water - NiGil ,he keeps me honest and young, keeps me guessing. He reminds me that I’m not invincible, and makes me feel small (in a good, grounding way)

Fire - Dee sparks my imaginations, comforts me, and I shine in his light. He helps me grow and makes me smile every day. He dries up the rain and warms me.

Trite? Maybe. Corny? Yeah. But this is how I see these people in my life. I need them all to survive. If I lost any of them, I would be an incomplete and inoperable person. I wish that I could find words adequate to express to these people how they have impacted my life and what I would give up for them if I had to. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for any of them, and I’m the luckiest person alive to have them all in my life.

Thoughts on Amendments

Do you know what its like to go to bed knowing that the next time you wake up, thats going to be the day your entire life changes? Often, we cant forsee the events that alter the paths of our destinies. But when you can, its a surreal feeling, like the feeling you get the night before your college graduation or your best friend's wedding. Its the feeling that when you wake up tomorrow, its going to be a great day, but your life will never be the same after it. Its the feeling that, truthfully for once, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. Suddenly, the routine seems trite. The show on TV becomes so much less interesting than it was yesterday. Your dinner becomes bland and your conscience becomes deafeningly silent, blatant only in its stillness. There is a clarity that must resonate as well with the inmate on death row as he is served his final meal, or the guy who has given forty years to a company as he cleans out his desk on the day he retires, or more cheerfully, the mother who has just given birth, holding her baby for the first time. Clarity that tells you, “Your work here is done. The rest is up to life.” I believe that clarity is what you see when the bell jar is lifted, and the world invites you back with open arms. There are lessons to be learned in the bell jar. You just have to know how to not suffocate inside it.
“Sometimes when everything is going wrong, one thing goes so right that you would do it all over again.”
Well. I dont know about all of it. But Im breathing.